The SIFF Diaries, Part One

The 19th Singapore International Film Festival came and went, and I decided to stop being a petulant little boy and cease my boycott of it. Unfortunately, I only got my hands on a schedule after the festival had started, so I missed quite a few screenings I was interested in even before I began. Here's a rundown of the stuff I saw.


Tue 18 Apr

Cosplayer (Japan) (Short)
Apparently it "cleverly depicts the universal discommunication between the basic way men and women tend to think". I saw a silly girl try to get a silly boy to invite a man she has a crush on to a party. The man isn't particularly attractive, and anyway he turns her down. The silly girl then talks to the silly boy a little. Then I couldn't be bothered and promptly fell asleep. My companion told me Silly Girl gives Silly Boy a blowjob at some point. Whatever. I had a nice nap.


Question (Japan)
Horribly shot on DV with the auto focus function on the camera apparently left on throughout the whole movie. This is simply awful, and guilty of several cardinal sins.

#1: It's got tons of sex scenes, but all of them are boring as hell.
#2: The whole story is completely gimmicky.
#3: The characters are never real, and every note feels false, every plot turn orchestrated.
#4: They also insist on telling the audience exactly why they did the things they did, and what was going on in their heads when they were doing it.
#5: The 75 minute runtime feels like 7.5 hours.

The best part of the movie for me was this: When the woman was giving the man a blowjob that seemed to go on forever, my female companion's stomach growled loudly (we hadn't had dinner). That made me laugh in the middle of my yawn.


Thu 20 Apr

I Love Cinema (Egypt)
When I read the synopsis, I thought it would be something like Cinema Paradiso, something that shows how a boy's love for cinema changes his life.

Unfortunately someone decided while writing the screenplay that the more subplots the movie had the better it would be. Every single family member gets his or her own subplot, and all are given almost equal weight - all except for the supposed protagonist's!

We are supposed to see the world through his eyes, yet his story isn't really explored fully. We are told all the time how he loves cinema and how it's changed his life, but we never really see the how and the why. In fact, for a film with "cinema" in the title, we see a movie theatre in less than five scenes! It doesn't help that the kid is fucking annoying and forever playing pranks on adults that are supposed to be humorous, such as pissing on them. It just makes me want to give him a good smacking.

Overly melodramatic in its presentation, the movie never really takes off for me. Apparently it was a huge hit and very controversial in Egypt. I say, "Meh". Shorten the whole thing, toss out half the subplots, get rid of the kid and maybe it might be a good movie.


只愛陌生人 (Innocent) (Hong Kong)
My third screening in the festival, and so far not a single watchable flick. Can you tell how desperately I wanted this to be good? It's a sad situation when I'm grateful for something that's just plain mediocre, like this movie.

Let's look at the plot, that seems like an oft-taken route. Gay Teen Boy moves with family to Toronto. Gay Teen Boy is full of angst. Gay Teen Boy has crushes on every hot or not-so-hot guy that he sees. Gay Teen Boy falls in with Nice White Older Man, but in a delicious twist here, the East is fucking the West in the ass! Oh, a reversal, how clever! Anyway Gay Teen Boy is outted at school and becomes even more angsty at being called a faggot by everyone from his classmates to the cafeteria lady. Meanwhile Gay Teen Boy's family Falls Apart from the stress of Adjusting To A New Home. Daddy gets blowjobs while jogging from a cute little Asian chick. Mummy hangs out with a Creepy Mainland Chinese Man who wants to help her start a restaurant - and maybe more. Sister... Sister just likes to cry in bathrooms; no one knows why and no one gives a shit. I certainly don't. Gay Teen Boy gets another crush on a Mainland Chinese Hunk working at Mummy's restaurant, and helps him escape to New York. Mainland Chinese Hunk gets rid of the needy kid the first chance he gets - who'd blame him? - and poor Gay Teen Boy is alone again.

Wow. I can't believe I actually remember that much of the plot. Basically, there's nothing here which hasn't been done to death in gay-themed movies before - not that I've seen that many, it's just that they all seem to be the same movie rehashed with a different cast.

Besides this, my main gripe is with the falsely uplifting ending. Where the fuck did that acceptance and optimism come from? A music cue? That's so not enough to make me buy it.


So far the festival had been complete shite for me. Fortunately, that was about to change... But it'll have to wait for my next post. I think I'm finally feeling a little sleepy, so I'll go to bed now. Dammit, I always have trouble sleeping before a trip.