March Stinkers

Even though I'm tired, I thought I might as well just get it over and done with and finish up my posts on my March movies. This last one is about the absolute trash that I saw that month. Oh, the horror.

I saw an ad for 制服誘惑 2: 地下法庭 (Raped by an Angel 5: The Final Judgment) in the papers, and the title sounded sufficiently sleazy enough to make the bad-movie-loving part of me take interest. I was hoping for a hilariously bad movie with lots of gratuitous nudity. Little did I know that it was actually a re-run, made seven years ago, and that it would have virtually no nudity at all, and was simply bad instead of hilarious-bad. The one scene that made me laugh out loud was a gloriously over-the-top rape scene (well, all of them were over-the-top, but this one took the cake) where the rapist, for some strange reason, wore a colorful condom on each finger. Otherwise, it was groan-inducingly bad, and my forehead was sore by the end from being slapped so much.

Years ago, I saw the Pang Brothers' 見鬼 (The Eye) and loved it. However, they've persisted in trying to test the limits of that love with all the lacklustre flicks they've put out since then. The Messengers does nothing to restore that love, and in fact almost douses all my goodwill towards them. It's derivative and boring, with plot twists that come telegraphed miles away and are simply just plain stupid. All the lovely visual effects and tricks in the world can't make up for a terrible script with gaping logic holes, and neither can well-shot scenes of sheer idiocy. I hated this movie so much, because it obviously thought I was as stupid as it was. I could just see the brothers smirking at me on their way to the bank to cash their fucking check.