Arrestin' April, Nightwing!

Cassandra's Dream
Despite having some of the best young actors around in it, Woody Allen's third film in a row set in the UK is very disappointing. The direction never feels more than perfunctory, as does the acting. So many scenes exist solely to deliver plot points that we can hardly care about the characters at all. Perhaps Allen should give it a rest until he's re-inspired. After all, he doesn't really have to deliver a movie a year - it's not like it's in his contract or anything. We'd all rather he take the time and give us something worth watching.

扣籃對決 (Slam)
It's got youthful energy to spare, and the youthful cast acquit themselves well with their roles, bringing many appealing qualities to their somewhat stock characters. While the plotting and situations may be pretty much by-the-book, the China setting and the commitment of all involved make this a pretty good sports flick and time-waster.

The Bucket List
It's not very funny, neither is it heartwarming - it's far too rote to feel so. In fact, this movie made me feel nothing at all; everything is so completely manufactured and mechanical. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman phone their performances in, playing, well, Nicholson and Freeman, and director Rob Reiner is not much better. It's complete and utter mediocrity, but thankfully, not hateful mediocrity. It's hard to hate Freeman and Nicholson. It's the perfect film for your unchallenging, middle-class parents, though.

三國之見龍卸甲
(Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon)
In a movie that doesn't make much historical nor narrative sense, Andy Lau plays a dashing - probably too much so - hero in the Three Kingdoms period in Chinese history, taking huge liberties with historical accounts as he hacks down his enemies left and right within a dull, depressing color palette. Too bad we've seen everything done before, and done better, too. Honestly, this is a real bore to sit through. I can't even summon up the energy to write more about it.

Shutter
Yet another Asian horror remake by the Hollywood factory, and as per normal, it's pretty much yawn-inducing. There were a few things I liked about it though: There is one effective scene lit by flashbulbs, one cool death via camera lens, and I liked how setting it in Japan made Taylor's character more helpless. Otherwise, it's a resounding "meh", and an altogether dull time at the movies. I'm so glad I didn't have to pay for this. Then again, I probably wouldn't have seen it otherwise.

Teeth
I was so excited to see this movie - it had an irresistible B-movie concept (a girl with teeth in her vagina? Holy shit!), and I do so love great B-movies. Unfortunately, the greats are few and far between, and this one falls short on the execution, thereby somewhat wasting a wonderfully crazy concept. The problem with horror-comedies is that it's hard to get the tone right (for a positive example, see Slither), and writer-director Mitchell Lichtenstein can't quite master that yet, resulting in something that's neither scary enough nor funny enough. Still, that's a great lead performance, and I'll be interested to see what else Jess Weixsler does next.

The Other Boleyn Girl
On paper, this was a can't-miss for me. I like Eric Bana, and adore Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson. I loved The Queen, and anything written by its writer Peter Morgan should be good. But wait a second, who's this Justin Chadwick guy who's directing? Never heard of him. Oh well, it couldn't be that bad, could it? It was. The pacing was atrocious, taking forever to get to any dramatic point at all, but then in the final act, enough subpar melodramatic twists are thrown in to fill an entire TV series. It almost seemed as if they suddenly realized they had a movie to wrap up and only half an hour to do it in, 'cos they'd been fucking around the whole time they were supposed to be working. In this shallow, shallow Elizabethan world, everyone - kings, queens, nobles - just kinda sit around and mope; it's a wonder the country didn't run itself into the ground.

Definitely, Maybe
It's a little different from typical romcoms in having some actual idea of how people and relationships begin and drift apart and end... not hugely dramatically, but often with little fanfare and Big Moments. There are no Evil Bitches or Heartless Cads here, only realistic (well, more realistic than usual) people that come complete with both good and bad points. The cast are all appealing without being annoying, and after a while, you realize that for once, it really doesn't matter who ends up with whom, because you like all of them. It could do with a little less pointless convolution in the second half, but as a whole, it's definitely - not just maybe, no, not at all - very watchable indeed.

Funny Games U.S.
Not having seen the original, but having read quite a bit about it, I was mentally prepared for the experience, or so I thought. Still, Haneke's consummate skill at creating and maintaining tension got to me, and I felt as though I'd been mentally raped after watching it. But in a good way. Of course, one could argue that it's a needless remake, since all the shots and dialogue are the same. One could also argue that breaking the fourth wall and addressing the audience directly detracts from the experience. But hey, whatever. It might not be the film of his that I like the most, but I'd take being mind-fucked over a mind-numbing blockbuster any day.

Feet Unbound
An interview-heavy documentary usually lives or dies based on the strength of its subjects, and this Singapore filmmaker has no lack of amazing interviewees - the female survivors of China's Long March. Listening to these old, feisty women speak is an Experience in itself; it's no wonder the stuff around it - the parallel journey the female protagonist makes - pales greatly in comparison. I can see why the director chose to use her to link the interviews; I just cannot identify with her at all, and at times, her pointless ruminations on everything simply annoy. Still, I'm going to err on the side of caution and say this is worth a look at, if only for the interviews alone (even though the other stuff brings it down to mediocre level). You can check out the website here.

The Children of Huang Shi
(a.k.a. Escape from Huang Shi)
A movie that no one really cared about, and I can see why. While its heart may be in the right place, the execution is truly mediocre at best. The film goes through a checklist of plot developments like clockwork, but unfortunately the human element never really comes through. Something worth mentioning, though, is that the lead character isn't as obvious a Foreign Hero as I thought he'd be - he probably learns more from the kids than they from him. However, it's sad when a movie's more notable for Chow Yun Fatt's much-improved diction than for anything...(read more) else. And what's with retitling it Escape from Huang Shi when the actual escape is over in a couple of brief montages that really show nothing at all?

一個好爸爸 (Run Papa Run)
A funny, dramatic, heartwarming, refreshing mash-up of genres, Sylvia Chang's latest, while slightly schizophrenic, is more than decent entertainment. Rene Liu turns in a fine performance with (unexpectedly) impeccable comic timing, and Louis Koo is dependable as always in a role that seems tailor-made for him. While the ending fizzles out its initial promise, what went before is more than sufficient to make this little movie thoroughly engaging and enjoyable. Just ignore the overly-cutesy, butt-ugly poster.

The Forbidden Kingdom
Real Chinese will probably be full of endless mockery for this bastard child of a movie. Wait, actually, almost everyone will, with the exception of a hyperactive 12 year-old. It's nothing but a random hodgepodge of kungfu flicks and Chinese legends filtered through a white man's eyes, and garnished generously with bits of The Karate Kid. Honestly, this is so completely full of shit it's hilarious - perhaps it can serve as some college kid's choice for Bad Movie Night. Hell, kungfu legend Jet Li even does a cheap pee joke in it - the horror! Probably the one good thing about it is the Jackie Chan vs. Jet Li fight scene, and even that would've been much better in a Hong Kong flick.

Iron Man
This marks the start of Blockbuster Season, and what a start it is! I must admit, I had doubts about director Jon Favreau, but everything about Downey Jr. in the trailers screamed "Perfect Casting!". And happily, the movie doesn't disappoint, being a solid, thoroughly entertaining popcorn flick. Downey Jr., of course, is the heart and soul of it all, carrying the entire film with charisma and wit to spare. Gwyneth Paltrow is a fantastic foil to his Lothario, and the chemistry between them positively sparks as they exchange banter reminiscent of screwball comedies from a bygone era. Too bad she becomes nothing more than a damsel in distress towards the end. But hey, whatever. All in all, it's a damn good time at the movies, and with a summer blockbuster, that's more than good enough.