I Hate Pearls

The Chinatown area in Singapore has a few really old-school shopping centres, mostly built in the 1970s to 1980s. They mainly hold travel agencies, money changers, massage parlors, sleazy cinemas and stores full of random shitty crap no one except old women would buy.

They also have really similar names, which can lead to much confusion for the unwary - like me.

I was to go to 珍珠大廈 to pick up my plane ticket to Shanghai today. This was translated by my friend as Pearl's Centre. Which wasn't a bad translation. It was just wrong.

Let's look at these names and see how confusing the literal translations can be:

珍珠大廈: literally - Pearl Building; real name - People's Park Centre
珍珠坊: literally - Pearl Square; real name - People's Park Complex
珠光大廈: literally - Pearl's Light (or Glow, or Shine) Building; real name - Pearl's Centre

So I parked at Pearl's Centre, thinking I'd be in and out in 15 minutes.

I ended up walking down the street, looking in building after building. Of course, it had to be in the building furthest from where I was.

But what I really want to know is, what the fuck is the big deal about fuckin' pearls? Why does every fucking building in that area have to be named after pearls? Why not have one be pearl, another diamond, and the third ruby or some other gemstone? Why fucking pearls?

This is yet another example of how unimaginative and derivative Singaporeans are. Always jumping on the latest business fad, cashing in on the most popular thing, only to end of broke after a couple of months because the pie just wasn't big enough. Anyone remember bubble tea?

I'll be happy to not see a pearl again for as long as I live. Fuck pearls. They're for grannies anyway.