Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Shanghai: The Funny Chapter

As we all know, the Chinese aren't exactly known for their command of the English language. Here are some examples from my recent trip.

From an ad for some "high-class" housing project:

Real Estate

The fine print reads:
Encompassing the nature leisurely, the purest space, the romantic household, emerging your glory, loading your all-life desire.

I'd sure like my glory to emerge.

Alien Employment

In the trip, we also found E.T.'s employment permit. Seems like he made an unscheduled stop in China and has been there all this time.

Unrecycle

So the opposite of "recycle" is... "unrecycle".

The following two photos were taken in the hostel we stayed at in Hangzhou.

Robot

They translated "remote control" as "robot". God knows why.

And this is a real hoot. Here are the rules of the hostel.

Hostel Instructions

1) To guarantee a nice rest for you and the other friends, pls don't cry at any place in the hostel.
2) Pls care the public sanitation. Clean the rubbish omnivorously. Pls turn off the light and air condition when you go out.
3) Pls cherish the public property. Pls inform the reception in case of damnification, you need to pay for it and draw for new ones.
8) All entertainments close at 12 pm. The gate of the hostel will be closed. To avoid infection to the others, pls keep quite after 12 pm.

Wow. Is this a hostel or a prison camp? You're not allowed to cry, you have to clean the rubbish omnivorously (whatever that means), you're at risk of damnification (begone, Satan!) and you need to keep quite (keep quite what?) after noon to avoid infection to others. I'm not sure I want to stay here.

Electric Power Hospital

The Chinese seem very proud of the fact that their hospital runs on electricity.

They also have stores selling interesting things, for example:

Juvenile Articles

Elephant Dress

This isn't that funny per se, but it really sounds like some rude Hokkien phrase. Not any specific phrase that exists, but if you read it out loud it seems like it should be something rude.

Loudesilan

And this is for all the NU Singaporean folks. Ha! I bet the guy in question will be flattered.

Wuyi Rd

6 Comments:

At 10:46 AM, October 20, 2005, Blogger Cameron said...

does the remote control/robot photo also say something about an electric mosquito?!?

-cam

 
At 11:58 AM, October 20, 2005, Blogger cinewhore said...

Y'know, I wasn't really paying attention to that. It might've, or it might've been "electric mosquito coil", which isn't as exciting.

 
At 12:51 AM, October 22, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahah this was really really funny!!!!hahah. really tickled me!

 
At 2:12 AM, October 22, 2005, Blogger Allan Koay 郭少樺 said...

OK, call me George W. Bush, but what does the last one mean?

my China not so power lah.

 
At 2:29 AM, October 22, 2005, Blogger cinewhore said...

Visitor: Nothing to do with your China. It's just that this guy we know in school is called Wuyi.

 
At 12:56 PM, October 24, 2005, Blogger dark said...

I like the Alien Permit
tmd so damn fucking funny.
And the hostel's rules and regulation. Which god damned hostel is that man. haha
Any idea where they studied their english?? dont tell me it's singapore, if so so damn fucking xia suay (not that my ang moh is very li hai lah but at least i wont make those stupid translation)

 

gimme some mindfuckery

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