A Letter to My CEO

I realize that you'll probably never get to read this letter, unless by some freak accident you happen to come across it online. Even so, you might not recognize this as your company. But then again, who knows? It might very well apply to all companies, so this exercise may not be entirely in vain.

You must know that recently the company concluded its appraisal process and handed out promotions and increments. From what I've heard, you also know that lots of people are unhappy with what they've been given. But unfortunately, you may not understand why. Here's my understanding of it.

The company is full of middle management. Seriously, how many fucking VPs and department heads do you really need? Throw a rock and you'll probably hit someone who does nothing besides sit in meetings and nod. And what about your stable of "talent"? Honestly, how many of these are real talent? Middle management and "talent" are sucking up all of the money and leaving nothing for everyone else. It's really sad when you value your creative personnel so much less than a pretty face. It's that simple. With one of their salaries you could hire ten or more of me. Why not do as other talent management companies do and simply take a cut of their earnings instead? It's much more cost-effective. And don't even get me started on middle management - at least the "talent" look good.

Has anyone taken a good, hard look at the appraisal process itself? It's inherently unfair when the only appraisal you get comes from your supervisor. True, in an ideal world it would work, but in most situations supervisors have no clue what goes on at ground level. They aren't the ones getting down and dirty, they can only rely on gossip and misinformation to somehow convey messages to them. What they see is a distorted picture; it's all too easy to perform for their benefit and appear like you're a super worker. This is commonly known as "wayang". But what about people like me, who find the very concept of "wayang" disgusting? It goes against my very principles. I believe that good work speaks for itself, but what happens when my supervisor is blind?

The solution? Have peer appraisals. No one knows how you work better than the people you're working with intimately, i.e., your peers. If you're a fucker, they know. If you talk big but don't deliver, they know. If you do good work, guess what, they know. And while we're at it, how about a system where we get to evaluate our bosses as well? That'd keep the fuckers on their toes, wouldn't it? At the very least they'd have to show some form of competency.

While we're on the subject, I'll have you know that the appraisal process for my department was a travesty. No one sat down with anybody to discuss things. The appraisal form was filled up and submitted in complete secrecy. We only received a slip of paper with some ticks in boxes, saying what grade we were allocated. No reason, nothing. And we then had to sign that slip of paper, no questions asked. Sure, they pretended to answer our questions, but they did nothing to help, they gave no answers. I didn't sign my slip. But yet HR could go ahead and give me whatever they wanted based on that slip. This entire process is so slipshod it would be laughed out in a fucking secondary school. Honestly, I've seen ECA elections more competently run.

And what about the promotions? Well, let me enlighten you about a situation that we have over here. Our department head is an incompetent woman whose only capabilities are blatant ass-kissing, bad lying and outright manipulation. She has a group of people that she calls "her people", and these "chosen ones" are the ones that get promotions and increments without fail. You want stats? Out of 5 promotions in the department this time round, 4 were "her people". That's 80%. Let's forget for one moment the idea of competency. Even if "her people" really were so much better than the others, it still looks very bad in the eyes of everyone else. It doesn't help that many of "her people" are, let's face it, incompetent. She has a senior producer who's well-known for running around in skimpy clothing, yelling at people, and delegating all her work. This person has never produced a single thing in her entire life. And she's a senior producer.

Furthermore, this department head not only plays favorites, she's also petty as hell. She can dislike you for the silliest reasons - and trust me, she's an actress, albeit a bad one, and we all know how bad actors who think they're da bomb can get. When you get on her hate list, she'll consistently take pleasure in bad-mouthing you in front of other people, and putting you down in person.

We thought this might come to an end when someone was brought in to oversee her and our sister department. But guess what? We were wrong. The two women appear to have become bosom buddies, agreeing with what each other says all the time. Perhaps this is meant to present a unified front to the staff. But you know what, it makes her look bad, when she sides with a hated figure all the time. It's also hard to overlook the fact that she's an admin person who's brought in to head a creative department. It's just not right. I am a person. I am not a tool that you have to "utilize fully". Such dehumanizing terms sicken me, and as a result, HR, and the company sicken me.

But I digress. Here's a little story that I heard off the grapevine. I can't vouch for its authenticity, but if it were true, it'd be rather shocking. There's this old warhorse who's been with the company for over thirty years. He'd gotten really sick and tired of the whole "her people" thing, and so when the new supervisor came in, he took the opportunity to speak in private to her and say what he thought of the whole thing, that it was unhealthy for the others, and for the department in general.

Guess what her reaction was? She told him, "Wait here," then went next door and got the department head in question into the room. Then she told the old man, "Now please repeat what you just said."

Is that any way to handle a situation like that? Of course not. But then again I don't know how accurate this story is, so don't quote me on it.

Now where was I? Oh yes, the appraisal process. It makes me laugh (bitterly, of course) how they proclaimed it was transparent when it was the most opaque process I'd ever seen. They explained away any complaints by attributing it to "the bell curve", which also dehumanizes by reducing people to mere numbers and statistics.

My specific appraisal was so bewildering and ridiculously bad, I arranged to have a meeting with them to talk about it. Yes, I'll admit that my pretext of wanting to find out how I could improve was false, but the appraisal was such bullshit that I just wanted them to explain it. Instead, it very quickly turned into a full-fledged attack as every single thing I said was twisted around and used against me. Apparently I'm arrogant, a know-it-all, too individualistic, have low integrity, and create nothing but trouble for them. I'm accused of being picky because I want to do creative work. Is it wrong to want to contribute positively? When I said that feedback was not given to me, I was told that I had to ask for it, or none would be given. Projects and achievements of merit were conveniently forgotten, and most importantly, nothing was mentioned about the quality of my work, just quantity. But let's put it this way: How can there be quantity when they don't assign it to me in the first place? The bottom line is, they can say anything they want, because the entire process is so subjective.

Honestly, I don't give a flying fuck what they think. Like I said, good work speaks for itself, and there are plenty of people who want me to work on their stuff. But unfortunately appraisals affect promotion and pay, and that's where I have my biggest beef.

You see, after two years, I'm still at entry level pay and title. That in itself is a big issue. But I've been doing work far beyond my level for close to a year. Sure, a trial period of a couple of months is fine, but to refuse to raise my pay or position at this point in time, and continue to exploit me for another year - now that's just plain wrong. I'm not grateful for a pay increment of S$30, I'm downright insulted. It's disgraceful and disgusting, like leaving chump change for a tip.

I don't like to say this often, but I'm a fucking scholar. How you treat your scholars is a reflection of how the company values people and invests in them. To send them abroad and pay for their education, yet to ill-treat and exploit them consistently when they return is an abuse of the entire scholarship system. We should be in key positions, assisting decision-makers in their jobs, not doing shitwork for crappy pay. It seems to be that we're a mistake of some sort, like a deformed child, to be hidden away in the closet until it dies. Am I unhappy? You bet. Do I regret signing on the dotted line? You bet. What can I say? I was young and stupid, and I fell for your recruitment lies. If you don't know what to do with us, just admit it. At least we'll know that much, and can kill all our expectations right now.

The bottom line is, there's no point in my working seven days a week, wringing my brains out for this kind of pay. When banks call me up and their agents approach me on the street, I resent the pity they give me in their looks and voice when they realize how little I actually earn. And I don't even know what lies ahead for me because HR insists that knowledge of the different levels of pay and titles is classified information. How then do I have a career plan for myself?

Is this the kind of environment you want your company to have? Where bootlicking is rewarded, and hard work, good work is not? Why do you say you need new blood when your only intention is to suck us dry and dispose of us? Are people staying on because they're good at what they do, or because they've run out of options? I love what I do, but must I be punished for it? You may mention that a good deal of satisfaction comes from taking pride in a job well done, but I must say this: Pride does not put food on the table. Pride does not pay my rent and bills. Pride is useless to me if I'm poor.

Maybe management doesn't really feel this way. Maybe management really cares for everyone and wants us to be happy and productive. But you know what, it doesn't help that the people you hire to be middle management are incapable of managing people well. To us, these are the people who are your representatives, and when they are incompetent, by extension, you appear incompetent.

Making us happy requires a substantial shift in company policy. Perhaps you are the one to set things into motion. We can always hope.