The Gender Divide

On Wednesday night, I found myself at Brewerkz once again, embroiled in intense discussion with old friends. A series of unfortunate events had conspired to draw the four of us together that night, and at the bottom of the matter was the age-old problem - men and women.

But before all that, cheers!



Sub-topics discussed include:

What is the difference between The One and the one? Is waiting around for The One to show up a realistic prospect? Do most people just settle on Any One that comes along that's not too bad? Why are men such bastards? Why do women ponder so much? And other such questions of supreme importance.

At the heart of it all, men are simply little boys inside. We are very simple creatures, we say what we think, or even if we don't, we're as easy to read as a book. We don't mean too much by our words and actions. The problem is that we think women are very complex creatures, so we have to carefully consider everything we say, because the woman (at least the woman that we imagine) will draw fantastical nonlinear associations when given a simple reply. "I don't like chocolate" can somehow lead to "I don't love you anymore." To men, that's pretty fucking scary. Perhaps we're mistaken, and that women only crave simplicity too. Who knows? If everyone could just be simple and say what they meant, at least in the realm of personal relationships, there might be a lot less misunderstandings.

The little boy notion also explains why we are such commitment-phobes. It's fine if we are given huge tasks at work, because that's just like play; somehow it's not Real Life. But if a female of the species asks for something solid, something definite, that means we have to Grow Up, and it's a very hard notion for us to accept. Some of us can better handle these situations, and some of us can't. I suppose that's when we end up hurting people that we never wanted to hurt.

Is status quo good? On basic principle, I have to disagree, because I believe that things are constantly in a state of flux. Any one or any organization that tries too hard to maintain the status quo is only going to find themselves left behind (like our dear Men In White, but I digress). Does the same concept apply to personal relationships? To love? Perhaps. People gravitate towards familiarity, but once they have that for too long they feel bored, and start to question themselves. It seems this is especially evident in young people, the by-products of the MTV revolution, with the attention spans of gnats. Perhaps the older generation has simply been shaped too well by governmental policy, to the extent that they are perfectly content with what they have, and they can do the same thing for most of their lives without complaint. Or do they simply know how to appreciate what they have?

But then again, who am I to comment on the subject matter, with my wretched track record? Maybe that's part of the problem, everyone has their own theory and expectations and misconceptions. Perhaps if we all went in with an open mind and no expectations, then we'd all have a better time. Kind of like going to see Elektra.

Right. So I'll shut up now.

By the way, in the bottom left corner of the picture, you can see my "Seeing Is Believing" wristband. It's being sold at all Standard Chartered branches in a pack of two (blue and green) for S$4.00. Proceeds go to their fund to help the blind.