Jay vs. Dick

I've gone to two concerts in the last two months, not exactly a huge number, but then again I've been kinda busy. I mean "kinda" in the "Jesus fuckin' Christ please stop the insanity" sense, of course.

The first was Jay Chou's Incomparable concert, back in end November. Yes, I do realize humility may not be one of his strong suits, given the title of his show. The second was Dick Lee's 30th Anniversary concert, just held over the last weekend.

Since I haven't had the time nor opportunity to write about Jay Chou's yet, I shall do the both of them together. And I can't really write about two similar events in a single post without comparing the both of them, can I? So let's find out how these two measure up against each other. Note that the opinions expressed are completely objective and the rating system 100% arbitrary.

Jay Chou
6 years in the biz: +6
Writes and performs his own music: +20

Has written songs for stars like Jolin Tsai, S.H.E., Landy Wen, Jacky Wu: +10

Likes to include different musical influences in his music, both east and west: +20

Unfortunately, most of it is limited to musical arrangements: -10

Fan base mostly consists of silly teenage girls: -100

Given to impromptu "twisting" of his own tunes and lyrics, and they still sound good: +20

Overly-flashy and silly-looking costumes: -40

Guest stars: Landy Wen & Nan Quan Mama: +50 Hot Factor for the former, +10 for the latter, -40 for not having her sing the duet Rooftop.

Sings horribly in Cantonese, but luckily it only lasts for half a song: -30
Humor quotient = zero: +0
No swearing at all: -30

Has lame-ass groan-inducing fighting sequence makes one slap one's forehead in dismay: -50

I know all the songs: +100
He doesn't seem to make an effort, has a lackadaisical stage presence: -40
Plays the piano well: +30
Plays the flute horribly: -50
I paid S$130 for a ticket: -130
Overall a disappointment: -100

Dick Lee
30 years in the biz: +30
Writes and performs his own music: +20

Has written songs for mega-stars like Jacky Cheung, Sandy Lam: +20

Likes to include all kinds of influences in his music: +20

This is even reflected in the melodies, as opposed to remaining on the more superficial level of the musical arrangements: +10

Fan base mostly consists of middle-aged people. Or does he even have a fan base? He does have rabid fans flying in from Japan though, so I guess that counts for something: -50 for the former, +50 for the latter

Given to strange phrasing when singing live, which sounds incomprehensibly annoying: -20

Mostly flamboyant suits hinting at ambiguous sexuality: +20

Guest stars: Tanya Chua, Hossan Leong, his brothers and mother, his ex-wife Jacintha: +20 for Tanya, +40 for Hossan, +10 for his brothers, -10 for his mother, and +50 for Ja.

Sings horribly in Cantonese, for an entire song: -60

Humor quotient was pretty high, even though it was kinda lame sometimes. This included making up new lyrics for familiar favorites (making fun of the holiday season, political figures), inviting Hossan Leong to be a guest performer, inane banter, etc.: +50

Sings "gan ni na bu chao chee bye" at one point, and many Hokkien innuendoes fly around throughout the evening: +69

Has funny Bollywood-esque choreography in Mustapha, and Dick's fake Indian accent is hilarious: +15

I've heard about 70% of the songs before: +70

Tries to banter, is not very good at it, but tries anyway. Has good stage presence though: +50

Plays the piano well: +30

Does not try playing any other instruments because he knows he will suck: +20

I went for free: -0
Overall pretty entertaining: +100

Now for the score...
Jay Chou: -354
Dick Lee: 554

And the clear winnah - Dick Lee by a whopping 800 points!