Fucking Myself Over

Why? Why am I doing this to myself?

The last couple of days, I've found myself waking up at ungodly hours and then being unable to fall back asleep for some reason or other. 4 a.m., 5 a.m., it matters not a whit, it still sucks. I potter around the place, surf the net for a bit, do my whole blog-stalking, email-checking thing, and two or more hours later, finally fall into bed, exhausted. I wake up the next morning almost inevitably late for work and of course, completely fucking wasted. The entire day passes by in a drowsy haze, and then the cycle repeats itself that night.

Or sometimes it gets worse, like when I slept at 2 a.m. this morning and woke up at 4:30, which explains the insanely early hour this is posted at. And on a Saturday, too! This is just getting from bad to worse. Now I'm just going to be a fucking zombie tomorrow, and there goes any chance of actually enjoying my weekend.

I really don't know what to do. I'm just fucking myself over, day after day after day. This can't go on without me just completely losing it eventually.

Ooh, maybe I can get a day off then. That doesn't sound so bad.