Another Six-Pack

New bunch of movies.

黑社會 (Election)
I had to make a trip all the way to Clementi to see this in a shitty cinema as it wasn't showing anywhere else. It was so not worth it. Despite all the hype, it's really nothing you haven't seen before in countless other triad movies, and while the actors were decent, you couldn't really expect anything less from such calibre. Infernal Affairs it definitely isn't. And the horrendous ending made for Mainland China came along with the Mandarin dub - apparently they couldn't be bothered to fork out more money to dub over the Hong Kong version. Basically it reverses every single theme in the movie within a span of thirty seconds, and slams the message into your face in an unsubtle move worthy of Jack Neo at his best (or worst): Crime Doesn't Pay.

Saving Face
A certain Dark Prodigy may have the hots for Lynn Chen, but personally I feel she looks weird from certain angles. Give me Michelle Krusiec any day. Anyway, it feels like this whole Asian-American ground has been retreaded God knows how many times before, so no big surprises. Still, competently done, even if some lessons were rather in-your-face. Has a nice, sweet ending - that has got to be one of the loveliest lesbian kisses I've seen on film.

Tom-Yum-Goong
Tony Jaa is fucking insane. That's the biggest thing I took away from this movie (renamed The Protector in the US). The guy does all his stuntwork without wires, and I don't see how any human body can do what he does with his. Running up walls, jumping over cars, somersaulting backwards and kicking people in the head. Complete madness. This is basically a bunch of jaw-dropping abso-fuckin'-lutely amazing action sequences stuck together with wet elephant dung.

If it is to be believed, there is a TV channel in Australia where news anchors speak in Thai-accented English. A cop who is unintelligible to every English speaker on the planet can somehow manage to get onto the Australian Police Force (and is quite possibly the most unfunny comic relief I've ever seen). And elephants are to be treated like family. That last one is forgivable; it's probably a Thai thing.

Best moment: A four minute-long Steadicam shot that follows the protagonist up a spiralling tower while he kicks butt along the way. The operator runs behind him, then in front of him, goes over to the parapet to see a guy fall all the way down, and tracks him all the way up. The action is incredibly choreographed - all in one unbroken take. Can you imagine how tired the poor Steadicam operator must've been?

Best moment that should have been in The Matrix sequels but isn't: After he realizes his "brother" - the elephant - is dead, Tony takes on an entire stadium-full of bad guys dressed in black suits, a la Neo. But man oh man, he's way more brutal, and the sound effect guys have their hands full as he breaks limb after limb after limb. The crisp sound of breaking bones is enough to make you cringe every single time.

(T)Raumschiff Surprise - Periode 1 (Dreamship Surprise - Period 1)
Peurile nonsense that would probably work better as sketch comedy than as a feature - and it really did have its roots in a sketch show. Basically, imagine if the crew of Star Trek were very gay, and had to travel back in time to prevent an invasion of Earth. William Shatner and George Lucas would kill themselves if they ever saw this. I don't even know why I saw it.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Darker and much more intense - I like. I'm glad they cut all the fat out, it's much better this way. Except I personally felt they could've cut even more. It would've been perfectly fine without the entire Quidditch World Cup sequence or the Yule Ball. The former had a half-fucked neither here nor there length, and the latter just went on too long and had no bearing on the plot other than to show the kids were growing up, which seemed kind of redundant, when you consider this next scene.

Best moment for me: When Moaning Myrtle tries to sex Harry up in the bathtub while teaching him how to decipher his clue. Now that's what I call a real 色鬼 (sex-crazed ghost - trust me, it makes a lot more sense in Chinese). This is just hilarious and had quite a fair bit of sexual tension. Kids growing up - check. Humor - check. Plot advancement - check. Letting teenage girls swoon over Daniel Radcliffe's bare torso - check. I rest my case; it's a perfect scene.

The last two challenges seemed kinda rushed and blah, and so did not live up to the dragon sequence. Ralph Fiennes was great though, with a lazy, "I eat babies for breakfast" drawl. The shot where the camera circles around him as he takes on his final form is one of the best effect shots I've ever seen.

So yeah, I liked it. I can't really decide whether I prefer this or the previous one, because Alfonso Cuarón is really one of my favorite directors, and I'm partial to his work. Of course, this is from a non-fan of the books, who stopped halfway into Azkaban and just couldn't be bothered to start again. I don't really care how faithful a Harry Potter adaptation is, I just care whether or not it made a good movie.

Oliver Twist
Given the title of "Least Essential Cinema" by The Onion, and I'd have to agree. While competent, it feels very safe and could really have been directed by anybody. Maybe Roman Polanski was on depressants when he did this movie. Looks and feels like a made-for-TV movie, which is pretty much an insult to Polanski and Ben Kingsley. I didn't care for any character, even though they tried to give Kingsley's Fagin an emotional centre. Even the Artful Dodger was boring.