Small People, Missed Opportunities

Palpatine has been badmouthing me again, it seems.

First she insulted my friend's department by implying all they did was sit around and watch DVDs. Then she made a big show of wondering if someone by my name actually worked for the department.

I don't understand why she's doing it. When a boss badmouths a subordinate behind their back by passing silly sarcastic remarks, it only makes them look smaller themselves. Doesn't she realize that?

But then again, with her limited intelligence, I doubt she realizes anything unless it hit her in the face.

I spoke to our new boss today (one level higher up than Palpatine) about the fairness (or lack thereof) that will be in Palpatine's appraisal of me, and the financial damage it can do me in terms of bonuses and promotions.

Turns out Palpatine has not mentioned a word about me at all. Godammit! This only makes me look insecure and stupid now! Is this part of her evil plan?

Then I learnt some other people have been complaining about my "attitude". I don't know what they mean, unless speaking my mind and knowing what I want at the end of the day constitutes a negative attitude. Then again, this is Asia, where there are so many fucking stupid levels of red tape and face-saving crap it just boggles the mind, and which I have no time or patience for, so who knows?

I hate this bullshit. Why can't people just leave me the fuck alone?

When she asked me whose team I'd be happy working on, I honestly said, I have no idea. Inside, I was thinking, why can't I form a team of my own, dammit? If I don't get somewhere by the end of my present contract in 2010, I'm splitting.

It wasn't until she prodded me that I realized that I got along with a lot more freelancers than fulltime staff, and that this might hurt my prospects. Godammit. I can't help it if I think most of the fulltime staff are incompetent and have lost their balls sometime in the last decade. This fucking blows.

In other news, I found out some time ago that I'd been bumped off a pilot I was supposed to write. Apparently the EP didn't see me at the office (is he the only person on the planet who doesn't know I work from home?) and got in touch with a Hong Kong-based writer. What I wanna ask is: Why couldn't he have just emailed me or given me a call? Jesus, is it that difficult?

Of course I'm partly to blame. I already know that nothing is going to get handed to me on a silver platter because they don't trust new people. I'm gonna have to fight for every opportunity myself. And still I got lazy and didn't follow up with him. All it would've needed was an email a week or so, and I didn't do it. I just did research on my own. What pure stupidity.

Since the people who write pilots usually end up being head writer on the project, I could've been made head writer within two years of my joining the company - pretty fucking amazing, if you ask me. And now that chance is gone, slipped through my fingers like a well-greased pig. Fuck.

Still, I managed to stick my foot in through the door, not letting it shut on me, so I'm still involved in the project, albeit in a lesser capacity. Anything to avoid being on Palpatine's team.

Good lesson learnt though. I can never be too careful.