Joustin' June, Bat-Mite!

Sex and the City
Let me preface it all by saying that I don't much like Sex and the City, the TV show. While I do find the sexventures of Samantha pretty funny, and I like the attitude that Miranda gives to everyone, I find Charlotte incredibly boring, and I simply abhor Carrie. Whenever the girls gathered in my living room for the latest episode, I'd launch into a rant about her ugly horse-face, her horrendous and ridiculously impractical wardrobe, and her twee narration with the most fucking lousy excuse for wordplay in the history of television. So what made me think the movie might be any better? It's simply an episode of the TV series, stretched out to beyond epic proportions, with a plot thinner than the sheerest lingerie on the show. But what makes me absolutely hate this is how insulting it is to women, depicting them as nothing but shallow caricatures who'd sell their mothers to a whorehouse for an LV bag - but worse, how blind most women are in not seeing this and loving this crapfest so much. Why four ostensibly intelligent women would persist in fucking up their lives in the stupidest, most unbelievable ways imaginable is beyond me, as is the popularity of this shitty-even-for-TV movie. I can't say it any better than this, so I'll just shut up now. (Please read the article I linked to. It's really fucking amazing)

Kung Fu Panda
Usually non-Pixar animated flicks feature movie star voices, bad scripts, terrible lines and pretty damn ugly animation. But this is the rare exception. While it doesn't have the best script in the world, it's surprisingly decent, and really quite entertaining. I was worried that it might be insulting to Chinese culture and martial arts in general, as The Forbidden Kingdom was (unintentionally, I'm sure). But again, it wasn't, and in fact seems to be a homage of sorts to classic kung fu flicks. Jack Black provides lots of energy, and there are some genuinely funny moments and gags, especially those that play on genre conventions. It does get a tad too slapstick for my liking in parts, but I can live with that since the rest of it's so much fun.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
When the first Narnia movie came out, I wrote a parody essay of it entirely in Singlish. I'm not even considering doing that for any future entries; the entire franchise isn't worth the effort. The direction is rote and yawn-inducing, and the pace is plodding, save for a rather nice night battle. The action seems to be a really dumb PG-13 type of thing, where you can hack at a person and he can fall down dead, but you can see any blood at all. The title character is shallow and one-note, and the actor in question can't act to save his life. Also, Christian allegory is fine for Christians, but for other people, it means that there are huge gaping What The Fuck moments abound. But this is true of anything to do with organized religion in general. (Re-reading my thoughts on the first instalment reveal that the main issues I had then still persist in this one - only this one's worse because of the distinct un-Swinton-ness of the endeavor)

Angel
Went to see this with Angeline, and it was one of those times where we had completely differing (and mutually antagonistic) opinions of a movie. Is it because she longs to be a romantic writer and feels for the protagonist's struggle more? I don't know. What I do know is that my thoughts can be summed up with the lines below:

Q: How does one empathize with a completely self-delusional, needy and annoying heroine?
A: One doesn't. One just wishes the movie would end sooner.

Really, I was simply angry with the movie for wasting my time. And I also wanted to smack the protagonist for being a pretentious, annoying little bitch. Also, why on earth did Ozon want to do a movie in English?

Shine a Light
I'd never really been into The Rolling Stones and their music - I mean, I actually Wiki-ed them before watching the film so I wouldn't go in completely blind and ignorant. Still, a Stones fan or a fan of rock in general (like Glen, who I saw it with) would probably get a lot more out of it than I did. My main thoughts were that it looked fucking amazing (for how can 18 top cinematographers go wrong?) and that The Stones, even at their age, have incredible energy and stage presence. It's a real blast, for sure - and now I even know a few Stones songs!

The Incredible Hulk
After the surprise phenomenal hit that was Iron Man, Marvel can't help but disappoint slightly in their next movie outing. It's by-the-book, nothing like the risk-taking but rather uneven Hulk of Ang Lee, but it's still a decent popcorn flick, if you can turn your brain off. While the action isn't anything mind-blowing, at least it's comprehensible (unlike Michael Bay's), and the pacing moves along briskly. Marvel must be doing something right; its movies are a lot better than they used to be. Norton, always dependable, and Tyler add a nice human touch to all the smashing - it says a lot when the best scene is simply a half-whispered conversation between the two of them in a doorway.

Penelope
Angeline and I agreed on this one, if I recall correctly. The modern-day fairy tale (which is a genre I enjoy a lot - I do love Neil Gaiman's writing, you know) is very charming and full of whimsy, even if it's less funny than what the trailers seemed to indicate. The Moral Of The Story, when it came, was rather heavy-handed, but overall it's still a very enjoyable movie that's carried on the able shoulders of Christina Ricci and her prosthetic nose (or, rather, snout).

Get Smart
I wanted very much to like this, and I must admit I did laugh - but too rarely for me to really enjoy the movie. Carell is very good, but I'm not such a big fan of the update, for somewhere in the action-movie bits, the old-school low-tech charm of the original series is lost. Neither does all the humor work; sometimes, the lamest old jokes are still the funniest. Still, there are worse ways to spend your time and money, and I'd rather give it to Carell than to fucking Adam Sandler.

文雀 (Sparrow)
Tim now has a good review of this on his site, having watched it at the Chicago International Film Festival while I sat on my ass for months and didn't blog. I don't need to say much more, other than I thoroughly enjoyed this delightful caper through the streets of Hong Kong, lovingly sketched by director Johnnie To. It's paper-thin and ultimately doesn't mean anything, but his enthusiasm and playfulness leap out at you from every frame.