The Shame! The Agony! The Horror!

There's an animated movie coming out in Singapore at the end of the month. It's based upon a much-beloved young adults novel that's been read by many a student (well, because it's used as a literature text).

The novel tells a simple and touching coming-of-age tale.

The movie, on the other hand, is a strong contender for the "Ugliest Animation In The History Of Mankind" award.



Bear in mind that it actually looks rather decent when viewed at this tiny size. Blown up on the cinema screen, everything looks weird, everything feels weird, and everything moves weird. Hell, lots of scenes feel downright creepy. I've had the unfortunate privilege to have seen the trailer multiple times over the past couple of weeks. The more I see it, the more I want to dig my eyes out.

It could be the downright hideous character designs, with their glassy, lifeless eyes. It could be the sinister-looking dancing monkeys. It could be anything. Hell, it's probably everything.

Could it be due to the "uncanny valley"? I'm not sure if they even look human enough to qualify for that. I just know that I have an immense hatred for the movie just by looking at the trailer. Even the trailer for Beverly Hills Chihuahua didn't disturb me as much.

Where the hell did the fucking dancing animals come from, anyway? There definitely weren't any in the book.

Here are some Fun Facts, culled from a local entertainment rag:

1. CG supervisor Steve Read was Technical Director on the 2006 Best Animated Feature Oscar winner, Happy Feet.

2. It took four artists eight months to create and texture the cast of animals and humans.

3. The 150 variations of foliage required seven people three months.

4. Each minute comprises 1440 images, totaling 130,000 pictures for the entire movie.

And here's my response:

1. Looking at the full credits for the very movie mentioned, Happy Feet, you may find that while it is true that Mr. Read was Technical Director, there were so many TDs on the film, you could literally hit one by randomly throwing a rock.

2. & 3. Pathetic. Again, look at the full credits for Happy Feet. Now look at the credits for Sing to the Dawn. It's clear as night and day. Happy Feet wasn't even an amazing-looking picture - it's no Pixar, that's for sure. But it looked decent enough. You don't get "decent" by grabbing 11 people (probably underpaid fresh grads from a polytechnic) and making them your animators for an entire movie - and giving them 11 months to do it! But you know what, it's typical of Singapore companies to do just that. And what you get, is fucked-up shit. And what the hell is up with the 11 months when everyone knows that this movie was announced over half a decade ago?

4. Duh. 24 frames a second equals 1440 frames a minute. So what if it's 24 f.p.s.? It doesn't matter when obviously no research has been done by the animators into how a person or animal actually moves. Every single character moves like a fucking action figure - like there are far too few points of articulation. Again, cheapness shows.

I am appalled. I am disgusted. I am furious. I am ashamed.

This blight on local film should never have seen the light of day. It should've been put out of its misery at birth, had its legs tied together, weighed down with a rock, and drowned in the nearest river. At least that would've been merciful. To release it in theatres is simply insulting to the audience.

These are dark times. Dark times, indeed.