The First New Year Post

In about an hour's time, it will be the beginning of a new lunar year. The year of the Chicken, or some say Rooster. Perhaps it's a good year to whore myself out? (That was a bad play on Chinese words - very very lame)

This will be the first New Year I'll be spending at home after missing the last three in a row. For some reason I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Part of me misses the fun I used to have with my roommates and our friends on this occasion - when the world around you doesn't even acknowledge your holiday you just have to be festive in your own way. And hey, we had a lot of fun.

One thing that I didn't miss was the inane conversation with relatives. You know, those people that you see, oh, maybe three times a year? More if there's a wedding or a funeral. The ones that you see regularly or semi-regularly are fine. The rest are just... something that just needs to be done.

You smile, say the typical lame greetings, maybe get an awkward pat on the shoulder. I always get comments on my hair, since it's a different color everytime they see me. Then the usual Game of questions starts. A few years ago it used to be "When are you ORD-ing? Where's your camp? Do you stay in or stay out?" Now it's probably going to be "What are you working as? Do you see a lot of stars? Do you work five days or more a week?" Then I'll have to smile and explain nicely that my job basically consists of bitchwork, at which they look uncomfortable and I dance a little jig of joy inside for succeeding in unsettling them. At which point both parties fall into awkward silence and desperately try to come up with excuses to end the conversation. "I'm going to get a drink" is still a hot favorite. In a few years' time the Game will probably consist of questions like "When are you getting married?" At which point it might be kinda fun to say things like "I'm considering cohabiting with a girl and a monkey and having mad sex with both of them", if only just to see the look on their faces.

I didn't remember Chinese New Year being so blah. I used to have fun. But then again, when you're a kid, you're pretty easily satisfied. As long as there were other kids to play with, money in your pockets (you didn't even care how much - the physical number of red packets were more important than the sum of money), festive goodies stuffed in your mouth and lame comedies on TV, you were happy as fuck. Now everything just makes me want to get drunk and chain-smoke. Both of which are generally frowned upon in the company of family. My generation of kids grew up. New kids were born and replaced us, kind of. I mean, people generally pay more attention to the younger members of the family, but then again, we had the distinction of coming first. These young whippersnappers (I always wanted to use that word), I look at them and I see a mass of kids. They kinda blend into one another and lack any distinct personalities whatsoever. I even forget who their parents are. These kids are around all the time, it seems, I just tend to ignore their presence.

I stay away from Chinatown also during this period as far as I can. I hate the insane crowds there and I'm not interested in anything the stores and stalls are selling anyhow. Red and gold give me a headache, and I hate the crassness of the New Year songs with their cymbals and cheapass synthesizer faux-cheerful beats. But above all, nothing annoys me more than the feeling that everything is about pure commercialism and materialism. It seems the vast majority of New Year greetings have to do with money or wealth or possessions, and it's sad that this seems to be what the Chinese today have latched onto - nothing more than a desire to make as much money as possible, fuck everything else. It just disgusts me to no end.

I still go to this little CD store in Chinatown called Foo Leong though. They have good deals, and I don't mind braving the crowds for a little while to get my CD fix. I only wish they'd stop selling the cheapass China parallel import CDs.

This year also marks the first time I'm giving out red packets. According to my mom, I'm making a living now, and so am obliged to give them to my grandparents and parents. Ugh. It haven't even received a single one and I'm already out a huge sum of money (at least for me it is). This looks to be a pretty pathetic year in terms of New Year "earnings", since I have a pretty big deficit even before anything starts. And it looks like this is going to be pretty much the case from here on.

Sigh.