Confessions of a Blog Stalker

Yesterday I was told by a buddy that I didn't have to leave so many comments on his blog. Initially, I was a little taken aback, but then I realized that I had, in fact, been stalking his blog. Plus he's such a nice guy that I couldn't possibly read any ill-will in his words. I brushed it off by saying I had too much time on my hands at work.

And I really do. For example, today, I spent a grand total of maybe one hour tops doing work. I read a couple of scripts and did character breakdowns of what kinds of supporting actors were needed. That was it. Done. Finito.

Of course, today I'm more free than usual, but even on an ordinary day, I check my gmail like a demon, and I stalk the blogs that I read obsessively, sometimes up to five times a day. A new post makes my little heart leap, and I eagerly devour every new sentence. Sad but true. And when I stalk, I leave comments.

Well, to be more precise, I only leave comments when something has struck me in the post. Something close to heart, something that I can relate to, that I feel something for. Perhaps I feel more empathy for the contents and topics of his posts then, I dunno. Oh well. Better I feel something than nothing when I read. And I should stop being so sensitive, it's just an offhand remark, and I'm being silly about it by obsessing so much.

Perhaps I obsess so much about little things now because there is nothing to fill my thoughts. I need to get down and write something for myself. Something that means something to me. Now would be the perfect time.

I guess it's the nature of my job, to be free for extraordinary amounts of time, and then super busy at other periods. I mean, I've had to return to work both days of a weekend once, which was shitty, but now I'm pretty much in a lull until new drafts of the scripts and some more concrete instructions from the producers come in. Which is fine by me.

So I nap. I check my email. I stalk blogs. I write excessive blog comments. I blog way too much. I read the Onion online. I finish reading my History of Islam. I start a new novel. I pester friends via SMS. I plan post-work activities like dinner and movies. I like it. Being paid to do virtually nothing feels good. Plus they don't pay me enough to work so hard anyway.