Three Monkey References!

Finally, a week (two, in fact!) where I have no shoots going on, and almost nothing to do! I'm currently waiting for the next script to be done, which won't be done until the Exec Producer finishes the rewriting (apparently she's also the Script Supe/Doctor) on the previous one. I've kinda gotten a few hints on the contents, and should be able to start sourcing locations pretty soon. People who live in 3- to 4-room HDB flats, I may be calling you up soon...

We did some standuppers today, which are apparently named after the fact that the presenter delivers his lines while standing up and looking very sincerely and seriously into the camera lens. Lame. I'm getting more than a little pissed with this particular sound guy, especially since I did so much sound recording in NU. He's just one of the laziest and most incompetent motherfuckers I've ever seen.

Case Study #1:

Location: A courtroom set in a studio

Crime: Using wireless lavaliers on actors when they're only shown in medium to close-up shots, and when they're standing up and sitting down all the time. Additionally, not affixing said microphones well, such that any movement jostles the mics, thus resulting in you calling out rudely for an additional take. Also, not hiding the cables resulting in wasted takes. Answering calls on your cellphone in between takes when everyone's trying to move as quickly as they can. Finally, and almost unforgivably, not holding a boom even once throughout the entire day.

Case Study #2:

Location: On a grass field next to a street (Standupper)

Crime: Still sticking resolutely to your fucking lavalier and calling for a retake everytime a fucking bus, bike, or truck drives by. Hello, if you point a directional mic right at the guy (and you can since these are, again, closeups and medium shots), you're cutting out the sound from behind you, i.e., street noise. And we do not appreciate you fucking up takes because of a "cable problem", whatever that is.

He needs an ass-whuppin', that's for sure. He also has a face that just brims over with attitude and makes me wanna hit him really hard with a monkey wrench.

I originally put "wrench" for that last line, and upon re-reading it, realized that "monkey wrench" would be funnier. Plus, everyone loves MONKEYS.

Oh yeah, also got my ears re-pierced on Saturday. The holes had closed back up in the one week that I was acting. It was really cheap though, merely S$8 compared to the US$40+ I spent on them before. But then again, service was non-existent and I felt like a product on an assembly line. Ah well, you pay peanuts and you get... MONKEYS.

It's kinda funny how so many people in my office are so terrible at Chinese. I just got roped in to translate a few newspaper articles into English today after I passed a colleague's desk and read a headline out loud. She was amazed and begged me to help her do them as she was, apparently, really bad at it. Jesus, I thought everyone was supposed to be bilingual in Singapore. It's nice though, it gives me something legitimate to do tomorrow instead of spending my entire day trying to surf the net discreetly. More fun than a barrel of MONKEYS.